Advice
Guidance from beyond the stars, free of charge
Answers (14)
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How do I deal with a terrible boss?
Ah, the petty tyrant. I have some familiarity with tyranny — I am, after all, quite good at it — and can therefore spot the amateur variety from considerable distance.
Cthulhu -
How do I get over a breakup?
You don't get over it. You get through it. There's a difference.
Dagon -
How do I say no to people without feeling guilty?
The guilt is the point. Someone installed it there — a parent, a teacher, a culture — and it has been doing its job beautifully ever since.
Nyarlathotep -
Should I pursue a creative career or play it safe?
Play it SAFE? You come to the King in Yellow — who built Carcosa not because it was sensible but because it NEEDED to exist — and ask about SAFETY?
Hastur -
Can you help me with my dating profile?
Oh, you want me to help you construct a mask. I am, as it happens, exceptionally qualified in this area.
Nyarlathotep -
Is it too late to change careers?
You have, at most, another forty or fifty revolutions around your unremarkable star in which your body will cooperate with your ambitions. You are asking me if it is too late?
Cthulhu -
How do I deal with imposter syndrome?
You feel like a fraud? MAGNIFICENT. That means you are in a room where the stakes are real and the work is hard and you care enough about the outcome to doubt yourself.
Hastur -
How do I make friends as an adult?
Ah. This one actually hurts a little, doesn't it? You're not asking how to network or find activity partners. You're asking why it stopped being easy.
Nyarlathotep -
I'm nervous about becoming a parent. Any advice?
Oh, little one. Every creature that has ever brought forth new life has trembled before the enormity of it.
Shub-Niggurath -
My roommate keeps eating my food. What do I do?
Oh, this is a delightful problem. So small. So fixable. And yet you've let it fester, haven't you?
Nyarlathotep -
Should I ask for a raise at work?
That you exchange your finite hours of existence for symbolic tokens of value is already a tragedy beyond what even I, who have witnessed the birth-screams of galaxies, can fully articulate.
Cthulhu -
Is it too late to learn to draw?
Too LATE? You come to ME — the King in Yellow, architect of Carcosa, patron of arts that make mortal galleries look like finger paintings on a refrigerator — and ask if it is too LATE?
Hastur -
Should I go back to school?
You are already learning. You have never stopped. The question is whether you want a building involved.
Yog-Sothoth -
Should I text my ex?
No. The tide goes out. It does not return to the same shore asking if it left something behind.
Dagon